Showing posts with label #SaturdayScenes. Show all posts
Showing posts with label #SaturdayScenes. Show all posts

Saturday, 9 February 2019

H Gibson NDE autobiography excerpt 1


*** Living A Multidimensional Life ***


  Caught up in a cooking oil explosion, I twice went into cardiac arrest, slipping away to the other side, to be returned for the greater good of mankind.

  Without challenge there is no growth, therefore Souls are tempered during  incarnations.

  I am Han, and this is my life-memory . . .




*** Foreword ***


   "Clear!" the ER doctor warned while I hovered in spirit form above the bed, watching them struggle with the blackened corpse, attempting to attach an IV into the shoulder.
   The electric shock of the defibrillator sucked me right back into my body.
   Awareness of their struggle around me made me moan in agony of being re-incarcerated into the worthless flesh.
   "We have you, do not worry, stay with us," Dr Ching encouraged, watching me, a mask covering his face.
   They had managed to secure the IV, Dr Kozaczynski stitching it in place in order not to be dislodged.
   'How fortunate I am to be surrounded by familiar people.'
   A random, out of place thought. It was not so bad to go through such an ordeal while tended to by people you knew.
   Closing my eyes, I let everything go, slipping out of my body, briefly glancing back where the doctors were debating about amputating my fingers; whether or not I had sustained inhalation burns.
   Ronald was not there. My lifeline was not at my side as he always was.
   "Vitals dropping!" someone stated while the doctors scrambled to attend to the dying body.
   *Come, Han,* Sensaii beckoned.
   Listening to my lifelong spirit friend, I thought of The Land Beyond. There was nothing I wanted to do for my body. It was time to go home . . .



The Chronicles of Han
Living a Multidimensional Life
Section 1:
Near Death Experience, Life Review, Aftermath

Copyright © H Gibson Chronicles of Han 2009-2019
Date Published: 3 February 2019
Paperback: 978-1-928471-26-4  
ebook: 978-1-928471-27-1  
H Gibson Author and Cover Design
Photo Credit: Sri Nithya Sadyojatananda
Set in Book Antiqua
56,391 words - approximately 6 hours of entertainment
Autobiography

Saturday, 29 September 2018

Meeting the In-laws


Meeting the In-Laws

Excerpt from Reclaiming Duback, Chronicles of Han book series - 
"

Prosia.
        Capital City of Creata.
        City of bad memories and worse experiences for me.
        Jade could not wait to disembark, pulling me along down the stairs of the aircraft.
        Our non-commercial aircraft had to park on the furthest side from the runway and we were driven in a small cart to the airport buildings.
        Panam was to await Julie's flight while Jade was to show me around the city.
        What felt like a lifetime ago, my wish to see the city finally came true.
        All the trees were in full summer bloom, alternating streets with shocking showers of lilac purple and sunflower yellow.
        People were milling everywhere and vehicles were driven in rows through the fallen flowers that carpeted the streets.
        I had been feeling better after the sleep, but now a headache started up with the close proximity of all these people.
        Jade asked our hired vehicle's driver to hurry up. We wished to reach our destination in the shortest possible time.
         At last we entered a more secluded residential neighbourhood and Jade's concern for me turned into excited expectation at the prospect of seeing her family.
        "They do not know I am coming. I hope they are home" she babbled excitedly.
        Our driver stopped in front of a normal, comfortable looking, one storey family residence. The trees in this street were mature and having already shed most of their flowers, neon green leaves adorned their branches.
        "Come on!" Jade encouraged me, almost jogging to the front door, banging loudly on it.
        A bear of a Kwailuan opened the door, engulfing Jade in a hug. Kissing her fondly on the head, the conversation switched to telepathic and I could not follow it.
        Jade turned to me after the man allowed her to disengage from his arms.
        "This is Han, dad" she told him. "Han, my father, Leykwõta."
        Nodding, the huge man acknowledged our acquaintance.
        "Good day, sir" I replied, bowing respectfully.
        "You should find your mother in the rooms" he told Jade, keeping the door open for his daughter to slip past his huge frame.
        "I guess you can come in as well" he told me, moving into the house to allow me to pass.
        This was my first time that I actually had to face a social introduction involving a girl and I felt small and overwhelmed by the hostility this man portrayed towards me.
        He showed me to the common room where comfortable furniture was arranged facing a broadcasting set. A mantle ran above a fireplace situated against one wall of the room. Photos were arranged above it and as I was not invited to sit down, I made my way across to inspect the photographs.
        Two dark-haired girls could be seen with their parents in most of the photographs. Jade was one of them.
        *That would be Skye, my eldest* Mr Leykwõta answered my unspoken question telepathically.
        "You have beautiful daughters" I replied in Kwailuan.
        *And you think yourself a god* he thought back at me.
        I was not sure if I was supposed to have heard that remark, but I suddenly knew why this man was treating me with such aloofness.
        He was not sure what to do with me either, especially being born from a Clan that now acknowledges me as such.
        "Here he is!" Mrs Leykwõta announced from the entrance of the common room, gliding up to me, taking hold of my face in both her hands, kissing me on the forehead.
        "Welcome, Han" she told me. "Jade talks so much about you. When she contacts me" she informed Jade over her shoulder.
        "Please, sit" she insisted, seating herself on the couch, inviting me to sit beside her.
        Not delaying, I sat down next to her, knowing that I was raising Mr Leykwõta's blood pressure.
        Mrs Leykwõta had Sparr's same metallic sheen to her more yellowish skin. It was the same sheen Jade's skin sometimes showed in direct sunlight. She was a beautiful, delicately shaped woman with sculpted features and only slightly slanted, almond eyes. 
        Jade made herself comfortable besides me, sandwiching me between herself and her mother.
        This made Mr Leykwõta even more enraged.
        "What gives you the right to claim my daughter as your partner - and that on Global Broadcasting!" he suddenly blurted in his frustration.
        I stared at him in shock. Jade giggled nervously, but Mrs Leykwõta did not take any nonsense from her husband.
        "They fit wonderfully together" she told him. "I would have given my approval of their union even if I did not know who Han Storm really is."
Copyright © 2009-2018 H Gibson Chronicles of Han


Saturday, 23 September 2017

Avatars - Excerpt from Saving Leilaka


Avatars - Excerpt from Saving Leilaka, Chapter 10,

    "So yes, we can help you with some things, but the rest you would have to find for yourself."
    This concluded our official work and Ishmay replaced the notes in a neat stack in front of him before watching me expectantly.
    "What else do you wish to know" I asked him, not sure where we had concluded the last Cosmic discussion, for time was non-existent to me.
    Everything was the same to me, or seemed so in any case. It felt weird to again be at this stage in my life.
    When I looked at the world, everything vibrated with the same energy. Everything came from the same place, everything returned to the same place. Physical, spiritual, ethereal, all were the same. All was The Creator, All was Source. To me, it really did not make a difference, except when I condensed my vibrations and realised that I was working with individual particles that were still collectively part of The All.
    It was not my life that was precious here, but the lives around me, the lives of my people, my friends, my wife and son. It was for them that I was here and I was amused at how they perceived everything as miracles, standing amazed at the simplistic complexities of everything that made up physical life.
    "We ended with Souls being contained in bodies and what you called an Avatar or puppet body, or something like that" Ishmay updated me as to where we should start the discussion in order not to waste any time.
    Jamal and a host of other non-physical bound spirits had assembled while we had been busy taking care of everyday matters. Now they also waited expectantly for me to continue this discussion.
    After a huge intake of breath, I started.
Continue Reading

Tags: Avatar, Elemental, Faye, Faeid, Direct Incarnation, Indirect Avatar, Partial Avatars, Puppet Bodies, Ascended Masters, Full Incarnated Bodies, what exactly is a Soul,


Monday, 6 March 2017

The Nayakteale - Excerpt from Saving Leilaka


The Nayakteale - Excerpt from Saving Leilaka

"Hanuman, you are what we call in some circles a Nayakteale, a Prophet, a Servant of The Creator, a Leader amongst mortals" he told me in a tone of voice that clearly stated that I should have remembered this about myself.
"You know that The Creator will never abandon His Children. He will always provide someone to come up with a miracle. Someone who is able to lead them into new ways of being. Someone who can open their minds, make them aware of different ways of existence.
It has always been your function to save the physical, or the spiritual, the intellectual, or any other aspect of Life.
Hanuman! You have always been used as the tool of change, as the servant, as the saviour. And yes, you even had to sacrifice your very life for The Creator's Children to live their lives to the fullest of their capabilities."
Copyright © H Gibson Chronicles of Han 2009-2017
Originally Blogged 4 March 2017
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www.chroniclesofhan.com
Online shop www.healing-oil.co.za
Copyright © H Gibson Chronicles of Han 2009-2017
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Monday, 27 February 2017

How Han came to Leilaka - Excerpt #SavingLeilaka


How Han came to Leilaka. Excerpt from #SavingLeilaka.


"And Trans-medium Channelings, what happens there?" Habieb wanted to know.
"When a person is a Trans-medium, which is considered a separate psychic gift, an individual relinquishes total control over his or her body for a period of time in order to give another spirit a chance to enter their body and use it for whatever reason, usually to bring a message or specialized knowledge to someone else."
"This is what happened between you and Krish, is it not?" Ishmay wanted to know.
I shook my head in the negative. "No. I am not a walk-in. Krish had already left his body by the time I was placed inside of it. His body was basically dead but my entry had revived it and I therefore took command over his body."
"You said 'placed' inside of it" Habieb stated, a confused expression on his handsome face. "I always thought you took Krish's body over. Was it then not your decision to come here?"
I saw what he was thinking about . . .

. . . two boys on a beach after a fight over a hunt. The one's illusion of his friend being an invincible, perfect god, shattered; the other, knowing that being here was not his choice.
"I know you think I am perfect in every way possible, but I am not, Habieb" I told my disillusioned friend.
He wore a pained expression on his face, real sorrow showing as he concentrated excessively on tying his laces.
"I might be this mighty invincible Soul when not contained in a physical body" I told him softly. "But here I have taken the body of Krish that had been created totally Human in all respects. This body had been occupied by a native Leilakan Soul. It had not been specifically manufactured for me.
Here I am as mortal as everyone else, subjected to the rules of third dimensional physical life on this Planet.
I still struggle to cope with simple things you take for granted. Sometimes I battle to come back after having left this body, praying that it would start working when I return to it."
I stood up, walking a few steps towards the sea, running my hands through my hair before turning back to him where he was watching me with an intense expression on his face.
"The Universe knows I do not belong here!" I stated, upset with this world, upset with the mind-set of these people, thinking me a Saviour, and all I wanted was a normal life!
Habieb just kept on staring at me, as if I was the insane one for not understanding what they saw in me.
"But you are here now, helping us" he said. "If you did not want to be here you should not have come."
It was a simple statement that made me mad as anything.
"I KNOW!" I shouted at him, turning back to look out over the sea.
"I know" I whispered to myself.
I had given up my life in the Universe of Kraita to be here, and now I get upset because people acknowledge who I truly am. They would expect me to be perfect. They would expect miracles from me.
I was not yet where I had to be. I was not yet all that I needed to be.
"I will become a better person" I stated as much to Habieb as myself . . .

And now I was almost there. I felt it in every upgrade that terrorized my body with agonizing pain impulses.
"Yes, Habieb. I was initially not aware who I was and I had no choice in the matter of coming here, even if I thought I had some say, I really did not.
Servants do not have a choice in where they are needed to serve."
Copyright © H Gibson Chronicles of Han 2009-2017
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www.chroniclesofhan.com
Online shop www.healing-oil.co.za
Copyright © H Gibson Chronicles of Han 2009-2017
Originally Shared on G+ 4 Feb 2017
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Sunday, 12 February 2017

OFFICIAL LAUNCH OF SAVING LEILAKA

OFFICIAL LAUNCH OF SAVING LEILAKA


Official Launch of Saving Leilaka in Cape Town - So proud of myself. This is my 7th book in print and the 5th of The Chronicles of Han Mega-Sagas. Clocking in at 712 pages and 298,000 words, enough excitement to go around for all my readers.
Buy online www.healing-oil.co.za paperback/epdf/epub/kindle

 Saving Leilaka Launch - First Glimpse of Saving Leilaka - Hot off the press
 Special Delivery of Books from Jhb
 Saving Leilaka Launch - 5th addition to The Chronicles of Han Series
 Saving Leilaka Launch - Michelle Carew Elated Chronicles of Han Fan
Saving Leilaka Launch - New Chronicles of Han Fan - Zoliswa Ntsele

Friday, 6 May 2016

Leilaka: Excerpts Foreword

Leilaka: Excerpts Foreword

In preparation of the launch of Saving Leilaka, the first chapters of Leilaka is now available on my website. Leilaka, Foreword:

" This body was almost four hundred years old. I was exhausted with the constant demands placed upon it. I was tired of the way humanity was still abusing one another.
       Instead of peace I had found constant bickering, only rarely coming across an entity that was interested in the workings of the Higher Worlds.
       After all my adventures, I have come home." 



Copyright © H Gibson Chronicles of Han Storm 2009-2016

Friday, 6 March 2015

Counter Intelligence



Counter Intelligence
Han had a peek at his Government file
Excerpt from Chronicles of Han Storm - Preserving Creata

* * *
My Government file was suddenly a lot thicker than before.
Once again, I brought the 'pages' into focus in front of me, duplicating the memory from Captain Heraldt.

Name:  Han Storm
Mother:  Anne Storm
Father: Unknown (Note: the mother claims there was no father – claim pending further investigation) UNDER INVESTIGATION: 308 Heights Building, Market Square, New Haven, found to be rented out in the name of Mr HLH Storm. Landlord insisted that this was the father of subject and the original rental contract was signed twelve years ago, coinciding with subject being “lost”.

I had to smile at their confusion. It was so easy to hypnotize the simpleton of a Landlord to believe that 'my father' signed the lease and paid for it every month. He never actually saw anyone representing my 'dad'. I just played along with pretending that I had an adult around to look after me.
It was easy times. If you can see the possibilities of the future, you can live off gambling very successfully. I never lacked for anything after leaving the government foster system. And by walking the middle path of invisibility, I was very successful at putting myself through school without creating suspicion.

The long list under the heading of Current Status, incorporating the list of foster families was suddenly very full with entries dated the last few weeks.
It seemed as if the Government was desperately trying to profile me. I felt satisfied that I was creating confusion amongst them. 
Most of the new entries next to the foster families of my early years simply stated that the people had no recollection of this child ever being with them.
The new entry at the foster family that sent me to see the Psychic, Professor Zane (at age six) read as follows: 
Child started having repeated nightmares. He used to wake all confused and anxious in the mornings. He did not want to talk to us about it, but started projecting strange illusions that we could actually see.
We realized he must be psychic by nature and requested an appointment with Professor Zane. After three weeks of attendance, the Professor advised us to rather bring him back when he was a bit older and more ‘stable’.
The child became increasingly introverted after that. He was un-cooperative in all aspects and as we could not give him individual attention, asked for his placement to another family that had the time to deal with him.

The next few new entries simply stated that I was an introverted child that did what he was told but never took initiative to do anything more than he was asked to do. They almost did not remember me. I was just a 'quiet one' to them.

The entry where they 'lost' me had extra notes:
Agent in attendance of file at this stage stated that the foster family in question contacted her with the disturbing news that the child did not return from school. He was already missing for almost a week. The authorities made a note of the case, but never came back to the agent. She also did not follow up, having retired that same week. The file should have been followed up by the next agent. As yet, no responsibility has been taken for this file. It was never passed on to anyone else and was eventually found filed in the archives.

I felt positive that the Universe had something to do with that missing file.

They had also found the school I had attended. The entry was short and to the point:
No recollection from teachers regarding student. As stated by almost every teacher interviewed ‘He must have been just one of the crowd’
Followed up on grades. Average scores on all subjects. Nothing out of the ordinary.

Being invisible does pay off, sometimes.

The next entry was about the Security Forces Academy:
Subject said to have bright demeanour, gave a good effort in everything and was a pleasure to work with. Not the most outstanding cadet they ever had, but one that would turn out to be a solid Force person.

I did Tucker proud. My substitute dad knew this when he took me on as a Rookie.

There was a new entry under STATUS too:
Current status: Subject current occupation: Special Psychic Team for the Planetary Security Forces. Under direct control of Director C. Thornton.
Under special surveillance by agent, Cpt. J. Heraldt, special ops unit. (Current mission: Pilot of Planetary Security Forces, transporting subject to required missions.) Cpt Heraldt to report position of subject at all times.

Again I 'turned' the page as the Captain did in the memory and faced the page on what the Government had to say about me. I scanned through the first entries again. It really made interesting reading (or memory in this regard.)
Psychic abilities untested. All information unconfirmed. Specialty seems to be visions of events in the past, present and future. Also displaying signs of telepathic skills. Worked missing persons. Success rate: 99.9%.
Recommendations: Keep in semi-private environment with Level 1 Security Status. Monitor closely with daily reports on events and performance. Case referred to 24 hour monitoring service. Satellite Tracking Implant advised.
           
      There was a new note following this:
No implant to date. Conference with Private investors led to the understanding that they would not co-operate if their investment was to be harmed in any way, including through a tracking device. It was not considered ‘humane’. Negotiations brought about contract that subject’s position would be confirmed at all times. Contract being adhered to. Risk of termination of subject was brought to light when pressure on private investors was suggested.

      There was another inscription, by hand:
EMP detonated at Planetary Security Forces Head Quarters. Said to be by accident. Recordings indicate Subject in severe discomfort right before incident. Informant confirmed subject’s immediate removal right after incident. Subject said to be in ‘bad’ shape.
All recording equipment was terminated. All tracking nano-bites were de-activated. Director Thornton re-instated previous company for security equipment, blaming Government issued equipment for malfunction and subsequent detonation of EMP. Lawsuit PSF vs Government regarding damages pending.

Good for you, Director. Make them sweat a bit.

The newest entries indicated that the information allowed to 'leak out' was gobbled up by the Government as truth. The Director did a stunning job at making me appear only slightly better than anyone else. He was keeping my real talents well hidden.
First Mission: Atlantica: Missing Persons.
Used heightened psychic skills to locate missing persons. Only four girls were found. The fifth turned out to be involved with a young man and did not want to return to her family. No foul play was involved.

Second Mission: Batista: Mummies found in Cavern at dig.
Mummies found by subject to be ancient remains at a holy site. Subject had definite, confirmed past visions brought on by touch, as with New Haven Security Forces work. Successful negotiations were initiated that Holy Site was to be given back to the Desert People and not to be disturbed. New caverns also opened with visions leading to successful negotiations regarding the re-distribution of Batista wealth towards the Desert People.

After this, there was a disturbing inscription. This one was in a handwriting I recognized from somewhere.
Subject arrived at aircraft in unconscious state. Flown in this state from Prosia to next mission in Darkhust. Subject seemed in unstable physical condition, needing constant attention from Doctor and Handler.

There was a new section under the heading Speciality Development:
Speciality Development:
Locating people through psychic abilities seems to be the main speciality.
Confirmed past-visions when in contact with items.
Possible future-visions under investigation.
Extremely powerful energy-healing confirmed. Mr Thornton, father of Director Thornton (PSF) confirmed 100% recovery from life-threatening Emphysema.

There was a loose page placed in a Government Courier envelope. It was dated for today and read as follows:
General Notes:
Subject seems highly stressed, possible breakdown suspected. Seven-day leave requested and granted. New location to be Kwailu Isles. 

I suddenly put two and two together. This was Heraldt’s handwriting. He wrote this, but allowed me to see it!
What was his game?
At these times I really wished for Sensaii. One thing was certain. Not much was secret any longer. At least our real mission was not known.

But there was more information that came before my inner eye.

Captain Heraldt was a very privileged government agent with an extremely high clearance level. He had unrestricted access to my government files and the information they contained.
He was a valuable source of counter-espionage regarding myself. He took it upon himself to help me.
I could not follow the memory imprint. It closed off abruptly, as if this was not supposed to have downloaded to me.
I actually received the impression of an Oops! and then nothing more . . .

I opened my eyes to stare into a sandwich.
Panam was busy feeding everyone again and I took one gratefully.
We should be landing in Kwailu by early afternoon. I tried to keep my mind blank the rest of the way.

Ω

Copyright © H Gibson Chronicles of Han Storm. All rights reserved. 2009-2015 Purchase ebook or book via PayPal



Friday, 20 February 2015

What happens on Encha stays on Encha. But did it?


What happens on Encha stays on Encha.
But did it?

Excerpt: Chronicles of Han Storm: Taming Encha, Book 3:
      Frank ordered his men to stand their ground, but the thing with the grey-blue scales and lizard-like features was already strangling the life from my beloved.
      Before I could discern what I was doing, fury overtook me and my body was engulfed within blue flames as I gathered the Source Energy within sight of all who surrounded me, accumulating it into a huge, twirling ball in front of me.
      My gaze fell upon Ariel.
      Her eyes were glazing over, life draining from her as the monster stole her life-force.
      *Do it!* she screamed hysterically into my mind, the agony of her demise ripping through my own body, as if a Grox had hold of her. Yet I knew this was no Grox.
      I slammed the ball of energy into them, allowing it to disintegrate flesh and spirit into a miniature nuclear eruption without any adverse effects to those surrounding it.
      The physical was evaporated. The spiritual had been shattered back into pure energy, returning to become part of the Creator once more.
      A miniature crater of scorched earth was all that remained.
      Lowering my quivering arms, I closed my eyes not to physically behold the destruction that had been created within the super nova of energy particles.
      I realized all too painfully that Ariel was gone with the Rogue Lord, extinguished from existence by a single blast of Pure Source Energy.
      My body sagged to its knees . . .

      I stood apart from it, watching it emotionally falling apart as gun-shots rang out and the other cannibals were executed mercilessly on the spot.
      My features contained no emotion whatsoever.
      Panam gently pushed my body over into a reclining position, asking it questions it was not responding to.
      Alis tried to revive it, but it slipped into a comatose state.      
      "*Come, Han*" Duek gently herded my spirit to a light portal that was on hand to transport me to the waiting Reclamation Hall in the Higher Worlds of Encha.
      Duek released me into the care of my Light Guardian. He would stay with my body, hiding it from the other Lizards, the Rogues that will hopefully now become active because of one of their own being slain. 

      I lay myself down on a bed provided within a new hospital wing Hulo had insisted be created within the Higher Worlds of Encha.
      Lord Grox was not on hand for the reclamation as was promised and I felt deceived.
      Sorrow, numbness, anaesthesia surrounded my spirit, as if it was saturated with events and could not soak up even one more emotion.
      Becoming aware of a huge Light Being at my feet, I knew I recognised this entity from somewhere.
      It presented itself in the outline of a Light Angel. It did not talk, or use telepathy, yet I understood it.
      It needed me to go with it before the reclamation started. All those involved were not yet present. They had been sent for but as I am aware of, it was tricky travelling through the Universal Communication Systems if one was not authorised.
      My Guardian pulled me up from the bed, surrounding me in its warm comfort, guiding me along passages that had not seen use in a very long time.
      We came to an ancient looking section, where doors were still solidly built and had padlocks for locks.
      In my numbed state, I did not become aware of any other entities hovering around and presumed that this area was totally abandoned.
      It looked very well preserved though.
      My Guardian stopped in front of one of these solid ancient doors. It was unlocked and the energy key had been left within the padlock. I knew that these locks could only be opened by the Key bearer and that there was only a single key to every door. If the key should go missing, no-one, not even the owner would ever be able to enter that locked room.
      Pushing the door open, my Guardian entered with me still enfolded in its embrace.
      A trunk, representing an energetic vault, stood in the middle of this room.
      - Here you are to place that which you do not wish to retain - my Light Guardian informed me.
      *Must I place the actual memories in there, or only the emotional turmoil?* I wanted to know from it.
      - Whichever you do not wish to retain -
      It released me in front of the trunk. I watched as it opened the heavy looking lid before taking a position behind the trunk, waiting for me to do whatever I wished.
      *Is this part of the reclamation?* I wanted to know. 
      - No, it is for you, a gift from The Creator -
      *Would I be able to reclaim at a later stage that which I put in here?*
      - Of course. Whatever you place in here will automatically dissolve from the original recordings. Not even your Cosmic Recording will contain any of this which is held captive within this mausoleum. When you are ready to become all of yourself again, you will be guided back here, to reclaim that which is rightfully yours. And your Cosmic Recordings will become fully restored -
      Logic returned to my numbed spirit for a few seconds.
      *Why was Ariel so different, so absolutely special?* I asked my Guardian that seemed to know a lot more about things than it had ever revealed to me. Now that I could communicate with it, I was taking this one chance I currently had.
      - She was your Soul Mate, created to perfectly balance your opposing nature, rendering harmony within your soul -
      *And I had destroyed her. Made her one with The Creator again.*
      - Sometimes you have to sacrifice a part of yourself to render great service to The Creator-
      *I do not wish to retain these memories, these feelings within my being. It will surely torture me, driving me insane with regret and heartache and self blame. With what could have been.
      I will forever go over the events of today, trying to see if there could have been a different way of doing it. A different way of destroying that Thing, without harming her.*
      - We are acutely aware of this. That is why The Creator has given us this opportunity. What happened on Encha, should stay on Encha -
      *Until I have the courage to face it again.*
      - Until then -

- End of Excerpt -

Exclusive WIP Excerpt: Chronicles of Han Storm: Last Book
(Journeys of a Psychic: The Emotional Impact of writing about Past Lives)
23 April 2011 Saturday 12h31pm
      Yesterday, Friday 22nd. Easter Friday. Holiday. Did almost nothing. Not feeling like going on, yet knowing will have to sometime. Ignored all prompts from the Universe to continue. Just want to stay in limbo for a bit.
      Woke up with stomach ache this morning. Thoroughly unhappy  because of it. Cannot even enjoy food any more. At least chocolate and coffee still do it for me. But not always. Body in bit of a pickle because of lack of magnesium in muscles. But then, not been out of the house for a while, stagnating in 'sleeping' very long stretches again. Not that it is something I advise people to do. It is just that there are other things that need my attention elsewhere.
      Anyway. Just upset this morning for not able to eat as I used to, not able to sleep. Not able to rest. Being constantly tired and irritated and knowing that it is not from here but my Cosmic Self that has become cynical in its seeing of the physical world, for nothing has changed within my lifespan since the creation of Creation.
      People are still people. They still want the bad with the good and the wonderful without having to take up the responsibility it brings.
      Nothing has changed. It just moves from universe to universe and you start all over again within the same teachings, the same principles, the same type of adventures. Good vs Evil. Good wins, Evil wins. What is new? Destroy, build up from the destruction. Live in peace for a few 100 years. Get bored. Go bad, destroy, build up again. Same old, same old.
      Totally ridiculous. Anyway. Just my viewpoint. Must remember that there are very young Soul-Spirits that also wish to endure, live and let live.
      And therefore they need the chance to have physical worlds that have these opportunities available. It is not my life that is precious here. It is the lives around me. My children, my husband that sees everything as miracles, that stands amazed at the simplistic complexities of everything that makes up physical life.
      Yet when I look at it. It is all the same. It comes from the same place. It goes back to the same place. Physical, spiritual, ethereal. All the same to me.
      Cynical [believing the worst of others, esp. that all acts are selfish]. Correct word to use. All is in the end only for the emotional gathering of the Self, is it not?

14h15pm: Made love to hubby. Quiet. Peaceful, Unattached.
      I am told that I should just go back to that part of Encha. Just do it, get it over with. Go within myself, disappear for a while and bring back the memories onto paper from so long ago.
      Trick is. The door is still locked and I am afraid that if I should open it, the gushing would be too intense to handle upon this plane of existence.
      I am told that I will actually be okay with it. That I should not worry, that I should just open the door and allow the memories the release from my heart they have been waiting for so long.
      Interesting thought that our emotions, our memories, our troubles sometimes long for release from us. For us to allow them to go in peace and forgiveness.
      So I stand in front of the door which holds the box to Encha's darkest memories. I turn the key, waiting for my husband to first bring me my coffee before I will advance inside to open the elusive box I have finally found within this locked room.

21h37pm: Advancing slowly, picking out the oldest memories within sequence, one at a time. Not advancing too fast for comfort, knowing that what is still to come is all very complex memories of good intermingled with bad, with evil, with still not comprehending after all the chronological 'time' after these happenings.
      Take it easy, allowing only one memory at a time to surface, to show itself, to be written for this World I now reside upon and within.
      Frequent breaks between work. Lots of coffee. Lots of sugar. I feel sick to my stomach, yet this body want food, but the Soul-Spirit does not. 

22h39pm: I remember now, as I dig around, one frame of information at a time. The soldiers had a saying. What happens on Encha, stays on Encha. You did not take Encha home. You left her at the portal, carrying on with your life when you leave.
      I remember me and Ariel. I remember why Encha is so deeply buried. Was so undeniably locked up. It is because I lost my soul-mate on that planet. And not just in the physical sense of the word.
      Because of the Rogue Lizard, she was destroyed completely. He was vanquished.  Both were obliterated back into the base element of aether where one's soul became one again with The Creator.
      In the instant before death, I now know that she did it for me. She protected me, trying to keep me under the radar of the Lizard.

24April2011 Sunday 00h21am: No bed for me just yet. More memories being released, all started with one small trigger. I am crying again as the little details are being presented to me. How to give this out to this world? How so much heartache can be carried by one single being?
      The tears spill over my cheeks, gushing into my neck, collecting into my clothes. I take a handkerchief and weep into it, not loud enough for my husband to hear. Not loud enough for my children to wake up.
      Just a release of all the heartache that had been stashed within a dark, dank box. 
      My husband stated that I am busy with a difficult bit, otherwise I would have been typing. Confirmed this. He will know when he reads this part of my previous life. I know now why I have hidden it so well, even from me, the grief is still shallow, digging through to this current life I am living at the moment.
      It is probably time to let this go as well. It is time to release and unveil that which had stayed behind on Encha. That which was never talked about, never mentioned once you left that place, locked up in a strong-box and hidden in a locked room so that you do not ever have to return to it.
      But now I have been ordered to and it is too hard to bear. My heart wants to break all anew, for that one single entity is part of everything now. No longer an individual. And it was not her choice. She did it for me. And I destroyed her. I destroyed her completely. How can one ever forgive oneself for that atrocity? How?
      I know that it was the only way.
      I have never revealed my feelings to anyone before. Not in the lifetime of Han Storm anyway. No-one ever discussed Encha after we've opened her up and destroyed the Lizards. No-one ever asked what happened that day.
      We all kept quiet, too afraid and too emotionally depleted to bring that negativity to the fore.
      And now I am paying for it. Hundreds of Thousands of years after the incident. I am paying for it. My family is paying for it, because I become not myself. I become someone else and I do not know if I am strong enough within this body to handle it.
      Feeling empty and depleted. Warn out by the responsibility to bring my lives to this World.
      Limbo.
      Protecting myself from the emotional overload.
      Limbo.
      I want to sleep, but sleep will bring only more detailed memories . . .

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