Total Recall of Past Lives #ChroniclesofHan

Total Recall of Past Lives

I was asked why people do not recall all of their previous lives in a new incarnation. This is but one of the reasons.

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    "Why do you not speak to us? Why do you not confide in us what you know, what upsets you so?" Kosima asked me.

    "A long time ago Racewater asked me the same type of question. He wished to know what I see and why I do not share what I know. I am giving you the same answer I had given him.

    For my function I must know more than any living person would ever need to know in any incarnation.

    Only a tiny amount of the information I need, or are aware of, is intended to be used by Creatans.

    That which is meant for you, I give freely when it is the time to do so. That which is not meant for you, will stay with me and be my burden to bear, no matter how difficult or hard it is to do so."

    She hugged me close, placing her forehead against the back of my neck.

    "But you suffer alone in your agony of things we can not even start to comprehend. Can you . . . at least . . . describe some of it so we may understand and be sympathetic to your cause when you are not yourself?"

    I lay there, contemplating if it would be wise to at least let them know some of what I struggled with.

    Kosima worked her hand in under my cotton shirt to stroke my chest, gently tracing the outlines of my scar.

    "Universal things" I told her. "I am aware of the ripples we create with our daily actions and thoughts, as well as where it touches other areas of creation.

    I am aware of the work going on behind the veils, within the formless areas where time does not exist.

    I battle with the demons of the memories and reminders of my own lives lived before.

    I draw lines to events happening here that had happened before, which left me with knowledge on how to deal more appropriately with situations in my current incarnation.

    Of these lives I so clearly remember, almost nothing is allowed to be shared, with people here.

    It is a curse, and I guess, a blessing, to remember most of your lives and adventures while in incarnated form.

    But it does interfere many times with what I am supposed to be doing. The emotions are still intense in many of them and the memories acute and excruciatingly clear, most of the time, when I concentrate on it, or are reminded specifically of an event."

    She listened to me, processing the information.

    "And these previous memories, you can not contain them or suppress them?"

    "I manage to do so, most of the time. Then it becomes a jumble of vague images, a cloud drifting at the back of my mind, threatening to burst open in lightning bolts and pouring with emotion.

    It tires me to keep this tide at bay."

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